I am actually laughing hysterically right now because I went to purchase my tickets for Coachella and the festival passes are sold out. Nigga, it’s January which means it’s 3 months away. Aren’t you hipsters supposed to be on CP time or something? So I was looking for tickets on ebay and stuff and this one dude was selling each of his tickets for $544 each which means dropping a grand PLUS flight fare on top of car rental/shuttle, PLUS hotel, PLUS that KY for my butthole because I’m going to need to really get that thing stretched out from all of the angry clenching I’m doing right now (more hysterical laughter). This bitch is ba-nay-nay if he thinks he is sucking a grand from my money tits.